Thing #4: The “Nice Guy” Question

Your hands are clean. You look the part.

But then, you open your mouth and ruin everything with six fatal words:

“So, what do you want to do?”

The “Brad” Mistake

Back to our friend Brad.

Dinner was finished. The bill was paid.

He turned to his date, leaned in, and tried to be the “perfect gentleman.”

He said, “Do you want to go somewhere else? We could grab a drink, or maybe dessert? Or we could just walk? Whatever you want is fine with me.”

He thought he was being accommodating. He thought he was being nice.

He was actually being a burden.

I watched his date’s eyes glaze over. The sexual tension evaporated instantly.

The Psychology: Decision Fatigue

Here is the secret women won’t tell you to your face:

We are tired.

Modern women are making high-stakes decisions all day.

We are navigating careers, managing social circles, and running our lives.

The last thing a woman wants to do on a date is be the Project Manager.

When you ask, “What do you want to do?”, you aren’t being polite. You are handing her a clipboard and asking her to work.

You are forcing her to step into her masculine energy to lead the interaction.

That kills attraction.

The “Sexy” Alternative

Women crave Leadership.

We want to relax and be taken on an adventure. We want to know that you have this handled.

Instead of asking for permission, make a statement.

Don’t say: “Is this bar okay?” Say: “I know a great jazz spot around the corner. The cocktails are amazing. Let’s go.”

If she hates jazz, she will tell you. That is fine.

But she will respect you infinitely more for having a plan than for forcing her to make one.

The Verdict

Stop asking for permission. Have a plan.

Even a mediocre plan executed with confidence is better than no plan at all.

Be the man who knows where he is going, so she can just enjoy the ride.

What Comes Next?

So, you took the lead. You picked the spot.

You are sitting across from her with a drink in hand.

Now, you have to talk to her.

Brad had a plan (finally). But when he started talking, he made a classic mistake.

He didn’t have a conversation. He conducted a forensic audit.

READ THING #3: THE “INTERVIEW” TRAP