Walk into any bar and look at the couples on a first date. You can spot the loser immediately.
He is leaning halfway across the table. His elbows are planted deep in the tablecloth. His neck is craned forward. He is nodding enthusiastically at everything she says.
He looks like he is in a high-stakes job interview. And he is begging for the position.
The Interpretation
When you encroach on her space like that, you are telegraphing one thing: Neediness.
Your body language is screaming, “Please like me. Please approve of me. Am I doing good?”
It kills the mystery. It suffocates the interaction. You are literally crowding her. Women are repulsed by men who try too hard.
The Fix
Pull back.
I want you to physically lean your spine against the back of your chair. Get comfortable. If you’re in a booth or on a couch, drape one arm over the backrest.
Open up your chest. Expose your torso.
The Logic
This is about the Prize Frame.
In any interaction, there is a Buyer and a Seller.
- The Seller leans forward to pitch the product.
- The Buyer leans back to evaluate the merchandise.
When you lean forward, you are performing. You are the jester dancing for the queen.
When you lean back, you become the evaluator. You are signaling that you are the one deciding if she is good enough for you.
Shift your weight back. Watch how she inevitably leans in to close the gap.
Up Next…
Now that you have the posture, we need to hack her subconscious comfort levels.
The next trick is dangerous. If you do it wrong, you look like a creepy parrot mocking her. But if you do it right, she will feel an instant, unexplained “soul connection” to you within minutes.
READ TRICK #6: The “Mirror” Hack
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