Mistake #5: The Novelist

Published On: February 1, 2026

A phone screen showing a massive wall of text sent to a girl, representing Mistake #5.

(Why Are You Writing Essays?)

Put down the pen.

I want you to unlock your phone and look at your last conversation with her. Really look at the ratio of gray bubbles (hers) to blue bubbles (yours).

Does it look like a balanced conversation? Or does it look like she is throwing pebbles and you are throwing boulders?

The Scenario: Her: “Lol yeah that’s crazy.” (A pebble). You: “Yeah totally! It reminds me of this one time when I went to Mexico and the same thing happened, the waiter dropped the taco and we were laughing so hard, it was wild. Anyway, I think that shows that you just gotta roll with the punches right? Life is crazy like that. What are you up to this weekend?” (A massive, desperate boulder).

The “Investment Gap”

Here is the brutal truth about attraction: Whoever is typing more looks like they care more. And in the early stages of dating, whoever cares less holds the power.

When you send a wall of text in response to a one-sentence reply, you are signaling two things:

“I have way too much free time.”
“I am already obsessed with you and trying way too hard to impress you.”

It isn’t romantic. It is overwhelming. She sees that giant block of text pop up on her lock screen and thinks, “Ugh, I don’t have the mental energy to read all that right now.” So she swipes it away and forgets to reply for three days.

The Fix: Match Her Energy

This is the Golden Rule of texting. You need to mirror what she is giving you.

If she sends three words? You send one sentence max. If she takes 4 hours to reply? You do not reply in 4 minutes. If she sends a paragraph? Then you have permission to send a paragraph back.

Never send a paragraph in response to a single word.

Be a challenge. Be concise. A man of few words is mysterious. A man who writes a manifesto in iMessage is exhausting.